Jul 30th, 2009
In the aftermath of the Great Stupidly Debate, President Obama has extended the proverbial olive branch – only this one’s made of water and hops and is preferably served in a frosty mug.
Yes, Obama has invited both Sgt. James Crowley and Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. over to his house for a beer.
A guy inviting two pals over to his house for a beer to settle a squabble isn’t all that unusual, but Obama keeping the guest list short seems to be a point of great fascination. The media isn’t allowed at this event, and like all kids who didn’t get invited to the cool party they’re now obsessesd with talking about it. Naming the meeting the 2009 “Beer Summit,” the press unfortunately just has to wait it out to determine important reporting facts like what kind of beer they’ll be drinking (latest reports state Bud Light, which was most likely chosen over Miller Lite to prevent Gates and Crowley from arguing anew over whether it’s less filling or tastes great. We might have suggested Lagunitas’ Hop Stoopid Ale to serve as a theme-appropriate icebreaker, but it does have more calories), who’s the best at beer pong, and of course which one of them looks best in Obama’s favorite drinking hat.
Representatives from Pray at the Pump are taking time-out from their gas station prayer vigils to join some members of the Rising Sun Baptist Church of Baltimore for a good old-fashioned protest in front of the White House. Their point of contention: that the Beer Summit involves beer.
Both groups would prefer that the President serve lemonade in order that his display of wanton frothy indulgence not be a bad influence on America’s youth. Additionally, it may be noted that lemonade might serve a symbolic purpose, what with both Gates and Crowley having been given the proverbial life’s lemons in the past week.
Whether a compromise may be reached by serving Hefeweisen with lemons has, as far as we know, thus far been unexplored.
Update 7/31: with the media pressing their noses up against the virtual glass from several yards away, the beer summit happened with Obama playing mediator. The President described the conversation as friendly and thoughtful, and noted his hopes that all had drawn a positive lesson from the incident.