America loves its protests, and this week gives rise to one of the more niche objection points out there.

In the aftermath of the Great Stupidly Debate, President Obama has extended the proverbial olive branch – only this one’s made of water and hops and is preferably served in a frosty mug.

Yes, Obama has invited both Sgt. James Crowley and Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. over to his house for a beer.

A guy inviting two pals over to his house for a beer to settle a squabble isn’t all that unusual, but Obama keeping the guest list short seems to be a point of great fascination.  The media isn’t allowed at this event, and like all kids who didn’t get invited to the cool party they’re now obsessesd with talking about it.  Naming the meeting the 2009 “Beer Summit,” the press unfortunately just has to wait it out to determine important reporting facts like what kind of beer they’ll be drinking (latest reports state Bud Light, which was most likely chosen over Miller Lite to prevent Gates and Crowley from arguing anew over whether it’s less filling or tastes great.  We might have suggested Lagunitas’ Hop Stoopid Ale to serve as a theme-appropriate icebreaker, but it does have more calories), who’s the best at beer pong, and of course which one of them looks best in Obama’s favorite drinking hat.

But the media isn’t the only faction whose input is being ignored by the party planning committee.  Turns out the Baptists aren’t happy, either.

Representatives from Pray at the Pump are taking time-out from their gas station prayer vigils to join some members of the Rising Sun Baptist Church of Baltimore for a good old-fashioned protest in front of the White House.  Their point of contention: that the Beer Summit involves beer.

Both groups would prefer that the President serve lemonade in order that his display of wanton frothy indulgence not be a bad influence on America’s youth.  Additionally, it may be noted that lemonade might serve a symbolic purpose, what with both Gates and Crowley having been given the proverbial life’s lemons in the past week.

Whether a compromise may be reached by serving Hefeweisen with lemons has, as far as we know, thus far been unexplored.

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Update 7/31: with the media pressing their noses up against the virtual glass from several yards away, the beer summit happened with Obama playing mediator.  The President described the conversation as friendly and thoughtful, and noted his hopes that all had drawn a positive lesson from the incident.

It was the Harvard Professor in the entry hall with the backpack.  No – it was the witness in the street with the cellphone.  No wait, it was the Police Officer on the front stoop with the handcuffs.  Wait, no, it was the President at the podium with the microphone…

The question of whodunit in the game of “Who acted stupidly?” isn’t yet solved, but everyone seems to have a theory – most of all some of the T-shirt designers ’round these parts, who were quick to add their voices to the melee.

And so we remember Obama’s first major public gaffe with this CNN video, starring a comic-book Obama and a few CafePress t-shirts:

Yesterday’s post of a grossly misspelled highway sign was the only planned post about typos this week, but a story out of Italy caught our attention.

Reuters was kind enough to report the harrowing tale of two Swedish tourists that ended up 400 miles from the Isle of Capri in the northern town of Carpi, Italy.  The mistake was due to a typo in their GPS monitor – a mistake that wasn’t discovered until they asked a local directions to the Blue Grotto.  Given that Capri is an island off the Southern Coast of Italy rather than an inland Northern town, the reaction of local town officials can best be described as surprised.

Whether the Wisconsin Department of Transportation was involved in any road signs that led to this blunder is unknown.

With President Obama going on and on about education, it’s easy to wonder whether or not things are really that bad in the public school system.

Well, it would seem that the Wisconsin Department of Transportation has an answer: yess.

Wisconsin’s made national news with a road sign that contains three spelling mistakes, and only one word (“exit”) spelled correctly.  The misspelled words include both towns to which the sign is directing drivers, as well as the word “buisness.”

And so we award a Fantasy T-Wearer Award to David Vieth, Director of the Bureau of Highway Operations for the Wisconsin Department of Transportation – but in this case we’ll regale him with a wall clock for the office.  So may he and his coworkers enjoy the “Buisness as Usual” clock, at right.

Those who watch “Weeds” saw a real-time reference this week, wherein Doug (Kevin Nealon) mentions the real-world trade show that takes San Diego by storm every year: Comic-Con.

This artistic extravaganza reminds us all that heroes can be found in unlikely places, and that you don’t need a cape to save the world.

So today we celebrate artists out there with some great comic book and anime designs:

Henry Markram, director of the Blue Brain Project, told the TED conference in Oxford that a functional artificial human brain may only be 10 years away.  Markram has already built components of a rat brain.

The technology hinges upon “recording the electrophysiology of neurons,” which sounds quite impressive and probably is.

The details of this technology are best left for those left-brainers who understand such matters; the crux of it, though, is the goal: to give researchers transparency as to how a brain perceives the world.  Animal rights activists will be pleased as well, since Markram notes that building animal models to minimize animal experimentation is a practical application for the technology.

And so we award a Fantasy T-Wearer Award today to Henry Markram.  May he enjoy the cheeky “Never Underestimate” T-shirt, at right.

…you’re still not getting the votes.

Obama’s $1 trillion health care reform plan is, according to the President, “closer than ever” – but seven Blue Dog Democrats (the fiscal conservatives) aren’t buying it.  House of Representatives Democratic leader Steny Hoyer also noted that there are “concerns” from other parts of the party.

The Blue Dogs objections stem from not enough reform or cost-cutting.  The GOP has rejected the plan overall, with a catchy slogan from a Republican media strategy memo that’s been repeated verbatim on various news sources and in Michael Steele’s speech at the National Press Club: too much, too fast, too soon.  (This is also the name of a rock band – no word as to whether they’ll be appearing at the next GOP fundraiser as part of Michael Steele’s effort to “hip hop” the Republican party image.)

With Obama lacking support in his own party, a vote by the Energy and Commerce Committee was postponed.  This Committee is the only with jurisdiction over health care that hasn’t finished its audit and rewrite of the bill.

From our end the T-shirts show an equally contentious mix of pros and cons, though a quick eyeball seems to indicate that there’s more objection than support for the plan.

Next week is the last that the House is in session before September, so if Obama can’t line up the votes the bill will likely be stalled until the next session.

Former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is free today, having served out his 23-month federal dogfighting sentence.  Vick was convicted of running a particularly nasty dogfighting operation, wherein dogs were not only fought and kept on chains in woodsy isolation, but also drowned, hung, shot and beaten to death when they didn’t perform.

Vick is still on suspension with the NFL, and speculation continues as to whether Commissioner Roger Goodell will lift the indefinite suspension he imposed on Vick in 2007.  The controversy is simple yet complicated, and raises multiple questions: should someone who tortured and killed dogs with his own two hands be given a clean slate so that those hands can resume throwing a pigskin on the big stage? Does two years in jail make up for the crime?  Should this crime color the rest of Vick’s life, despite already having served his sentence?  What kind of example does it set to allow him back onto the field?

It’s not too big a surprise to note that our content is dramatically anti-dogfighting, as well as heavily pro-pit bull.  Animal welfare is a popular topic ’round these parts – dog rescue in particular is a big theme – so it’s no wonder that the merchandise tells a no-tolerance story when it comes to dog fighting.

As for Michael Vick’s dogs, they have been placed around the country with various rescue groups.  One of the orgs that evaluated and placed the dogs, BadRap, has a CafePress fundraising shop where those that want to pitch in for the latest group of fight dogs (the biggest fight bust in history just took place) can do so via a cool pit bull t-shirt.

Full disclosure: I worked with Bad Rap for several years fostered the handsome man at left.  Hector is (was?) a Vick dog, and if you look closely enough you’ll note the scarring on his chest and the ding out of his tongue (he’s missing a canine on that side).  After surviving Bad Newz Kennels, Hector then sadly had to survive a brief stint with the Cone of Shame (which he truthfully rather enjoyed as a run-through-the-house-and-whack-it-around noisemaker) and the dreaded bathtub.  Hector now lives in Minnesota with a pack o’ happy dogs, and recently got his therapy dog certification.  He takes time out from his busy schedule to update his blog, so no worries: despite all the attention, Hector hasn’t forgotten his many fans.

While Vick is now free, the sentence he handed down to his dogs hasn’t faded yet for all of them.  The more emotionally stunted dogs landed at Best Friends, where they now star in National Geographic’s “Dogtown.”

Whether Vick will soon be swapping his prison uniform for one with his number on the back depends largely on both the NFL Commissioner and, one would think, fan reaction.

Catchy slogan, yes?  We have similar slogans on T-shirts (minus the trucks), but one thing we haven’t thought of is the free-with-purchase offer that Mark Muller of Max Motors in Missouri is offering America (and with that alliteration you’d think it’d be a Muffin or a Magnet, but you’d be very wrong): an AK-47.

Max Motors gave away handguns with purchase last year, but with a poor economy and a goal to dramatically increase their truck sales, they decided to up the ante this year.

Mr. Muller gave a CNN interview about the promotion, in which he makes it amusingly clear that his Second Amendment Rights aren’t about to be trampled on by the press’s part of the First.  Were this a debate, we’d have to give the points to Mr. Muller – who first trips up the anchor on publicly announcing her actual age, then leaves her somewhat at a loss to address the finer points of his position.

The video of the interview is well worth a watch:

And so we award a Fantasy T-Wearer Award to Mark Muller of Max Motors today.  May he enjoy the “Defend My Rights” AK-47 T-shirt, at right.

Giving new meaning to the “serve and protect” slogan, the police force in Clare, MI went the extra mile for their favorite doughnut shop: they bought it.

The historic Clare City Bakery – opened in 1896 – was within weeks of closing when the 9 members of the Clare police force banded together to save their favorite snack shop.  They’ve now been open for almost 3 weeks under the new management, and with their grand re-opening they also launched the Cops & Doughnuts “Shameless Commerce Division” via CafePress.

One interesting and ironic factoid: the bakery used to be the hangout and hideout of the insidious Detroit “Purple Gang,” a group of crafty bootleggers and hijackers that used the bakery basement coal bin as a hiding spot when things got a little hot.

In speaking with one of the new employees, I was told that working in the shop has thus far been “really fun” and that the Apple Fritters are her favorite.  Whether or not being in good with the town police force has led her to a wanton life of casually observed stop signs and expired parking meters, however, is off the record.

So if you’re nowhere near Clare but want to support these hometown heroes, just pony up for a Cops & Doughnuts T-shirt.  It may not be as tasty as an Apple Fritter, but hey – it has far less calories.