It sounded too farfetched to be true – and it was.

Falcon Heene, better known as “Balloon Boy,” wasn’t in a large, shiny mushroom-shaped balloon floating about his Colorado neighborhood.  And he wasn’t hiding in a box in the attic Tom Sawyer-style due to an honest 6-year-old’s fear of reprisal, either.

As he put it to Wolf Blitzer when asked why he didn’t come out during a massive, publicized hunt for him, “we did it for the show.”

Whoops.

It would seem that Heene’s parents staged the stunt to improve their chances of appearing on more reality TV, having already appeared twice on “Wife Swap” and having recently been turned down by TLC on a pitch for their own reality series.

The Balloon Boy T-shirts tell a tall tale appropriate for such a publicity stunt, with the designs reflecting the narrative arc: the initial sensationalist headline leading to general support and then the finer details, then moving into seeming resolution before the shocked realization that it had all been a hoax (and then into those finer details), to, finally, the annoyed acceptance that comes with realizing that you (and a shocking number of media outlets) have just wasted countless hours of mind share… and it’s high time to move on.

Indeed, if you managed to miss the near-constant coverage of Balloon Boy, here’s a collection of T-shirts that pretty much gives you the entire story.  Save yourself some time and let the T-shirts do the talking:

UPDATE 10/23: After Balloon Boy’s dad insisted on record that it wasn’t a hoax, Balloon Boy’s mom admitted that it was a hoax.

UPDATE, part DEUX (10/27): the Heene family is now calling for a “criminal action” against the Sheriff in the case, who they claim has violated their rights by speaking publicly about an “alleged child welfare investigation.”

…and you’re not dead yet.

Such is the argument made by the folks over at Rescue Marriage, who have authored the 2010 California Marriage Protection Act.  Inspired by the passage of California’s Proposition 8, which was promoted and funded by the Protect Marriage camp to “restore marriage and protect California children,” Rescue Marriage founder John Marcotte realized that truly protecting marriage meant going well beyond limiting its legal status to heterosexuals.

Marcotte sees the primary threat to marriage as the dissolution thereof, and therefore seeks to protect the sanctity of marriage by outlawing divorce in the state of California.

To help get the word out, Marcotte started the Rescue Marriage T-shirt shop so that supporters can show the world that they truly stand behind government-mandated marriage protection.

We spoke with Marcotte, and asked him whether or not he thought this bill would pass.  His answer: “Proposition 8 passed on the grounds that it protects traditional marriage and our children, so I don’t see any reason that this bill – which truly protects marriage by preventing its demise – wouldn’t pass.  I mean, if all the people who voted for Proposition 8 don’t vote for this, they’d be hypocrites.  You don’t think that California voters are hypocrites, do you?”

The Rescue Marriage camp has organized a Wedding March on the Capitol to be held on November 14th, 2009.  The march invites all of us to “Participate in democracy the American way: by shouting angrily, using inflammatory rhetoric and memorizing jingoistic slogans to chant or misspell on signs.”

Whether the people of California will take this next step in preserving traditional marriage has yet to be seen.  Some residents have expressed that banning divorce infringes on their civil rights; to those people, Marcotte says, “Sometimes other people have to give up their rights in order to protect my idea of traditional marriage.”

UPDATE: Rescue Marriage has a new Public Service Announcement to explain the issue:

Obama’s surprise Nobel Peace Prize win last week created an unprecedented uproar of conflicting popular opinion, and the designs keep coming in as the debate over the award continues.

As the Nobel committee staunchly stands behind their decision, public opinion flares wildly on both sides.  To date the CafePress community has brought about 7,000 Obama Nobel Peace Prize products to life – 57% supporting and 43% opposing the prize.

Perhaps more significant, though, is the foresight of the CafePress community.  The Obama/peace theme isn’t a new one ’round these parts; we saw this trend from the get-go when Obama merchandise started to hit the catalogue.  Since early 2008, customers have flocked to merchandise featuring the iconic Obama “O” transformed into a peace sign, as well as with the similar messages of “hope” and “change.”  With over 180,000 Obama/Peace products made before the award, the feeling that Obama would be the President to leave a legacy of peace speaks loud and clear on the T-shirts.  This flavor of candidate messaging was a new one;  a search for peace-related President George W. Bush merchandise turns up 375,000 products, mostly displaying ironic messages of war and impeachment.

As the battle of public opinion rages on, we’ll continue to see folks inserting themselves into the social consciousness of this historical moment (and others to come) by making bolder, louder statements via the almighty T-shirt.

In this week’s “shirts that make you go hmm…”

Well, OK.  It’s a sticker, not a shirt.  But still.  Huh?

Here’s one scenario:

Darlene was a fourth-generation aerialist, descended from a long line of Russian-born circus performers.  Darlene was the star performer in the touring troupe of Cirque du Soleil, right up until her left pinky toe began to twich uncontrollably at all the wrong moments.  The tightrope, after all, is not known for its forgiveness.

At first, Darlene thought it was just a strained tendon.  But doctor after doctor couldn’t find anything, and after one of Darlene’s ill-timed episodes led to a trapeze fall during a performance she went to see a specialist.

Knowing that Darlene was depressed and that her work was suffering, her long-time aerialist partner Svetlana had secretly made up this special sticker and stuck it to the back of Darlene’s Geo Metro, a relic from her time outside the circus when she decided to make a go as a stand-up comedienne.  (Well, techincally she was an airborne comedienne, as Darlene’s hook was delivering her performance while flying through the air via lighting equipment, thus enraging gaffers and stage managers at various open mic venues.)

Svetlana surely couldn’t know that Darlene would return from seeing a specialist to find out that she was suffering from the incurable toe-version of alien hand syndrome, thus making the now-affixed gift a bit too true to be funny.  Darlene also suspected that Svetlana’s gag gift may have cursed her (circus performers can be so superstitious), and decided then and there to leave the circus forever.

Nonetheless, Darlene kept the sticker on her Geo Metro, and the last thing her circus friends saw of her was a sad, waving hand out the driver’s side door, the sticker getting smaller and smaller as she drove away.

Lest you think this story ends up tragically, rest assured that Darlene was always a lot funnier when she wasn’t trying to tell jokes while flying through the air.  Sometimes, multi-tasking just isn’t a good thing.

Boy, does it ever.

Every once in awhile, we run across an awesome artistic feat that reminds us to celebrate art and artists everywhere.  Today is one of those days.

This is video of the “Ukraine Got Talent” winner, doing an 8-minute sand animation performance.  (An upside of this medium: sand is a lot cheaper and more ubiquitous than paint. A downside: it gets into places it shouldn’t be.)

It’s well worth the 8 minutes of watch time, so sit back, turn up the volume and celebrate the creative in all of us.  Enjoy…

We bestow a Fantasy T-Wearer Award today to artist Kseniya Simonova, with the “Create” T-shirt seen above.

Equal rights activists hit the Mall on National Coming Out Day this year, assembling for the first-ever National Equality March.

March organizers Equality Across America to demand equal civil rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people across the nation.  They also set up a shop with cool National Equality March T-shirts and gear so activists could sport their support for a good cause.

The march followed a Human Rights Campaign dinner that included remarks from President Obama, who promised to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and voiced general support for the gay equal rights movement.  More specific issues of timelines and legal actions weren’t covered, but the ever-arresting Lady Gaga (who had the night before performed at the HRC dinner) made sure that the President knew that the finer points needed to be addressed by saying, “Obama, I know you are listening… We will continue to push you and your administration to bring your words of promise to a reality.”

Project 350 is a grassroots movement looking to inspire the world to take action toward solving the global climate crisis.

Toward that end, Project 350 has organized an international day of climate action to be held on October 24th, 2009.  This is a day to showcase the number 350 at an “iconic” place in your community, document it, and share it with 350.org so that they might relay your message of support to global leaders.

Understanding that people are walking billboards, 350.org set up a CafePress shop so that climate activists can sport their support and, one hopes, inspire others to do the same.  We spoke with the folks at Project 350 about the shop, and here’s what they said:

“Its funny, it is actually a good story how we´ve been using Cafe Press…. we´ve managed to get materials (tshirts, stickers) to local grassroots climate change advocates in places as far flung as Paraguay, Nuie, and Moldova through the service…. mostly with the credit we´ve racked up selling gear to people who are buying it!  So your products will show up all around the world on October 24th, the international day of action we´re organizing.”

To help support the 350 cause, CafePress has issued a coupon for 20% off 350 T-shirts and merchandise.  The code runs through Wednesday, October 14.  Code (to be used at checkout): PROJ350

If you’re still wondering what they’re all about, here’s a video that explains the finer details:

In a decision that surprised many (including Obama himself), the President received this year’s Nobel Peace Prize.  The Nobel committee noted that their decision to award the prize to a President just 10 months into office was based on his efforts to boost diplomacy and co-operation.

Said the Norwegian committee, “Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world’s attention and given its people hope for a better future.  His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world’s population.”

Obama, for his part, seemed humbled by the award and expressed that this prize is a call-to-action, saying “I know that throughout history the Nobel Peace Prize has not just been used to honor specific achievements.  It’s also been used as a means to give momentum to a set of causes. And that is why I will accept this award as a call to action, a call for all nations to confront the common challenges of the 21st Century.”

Of course, the decision is not without its critics.  The Taliban, Hamas, Islamic Jihad and Republic National Committee Chairman Michael Steele have all made statements criticizing the committee’s decision.  Other world leaders (and John McCain, departing from other GOP members) were more supportive of the decision.

The merchandise being designed thus far is more celebratory than derogatory, which isn’t a surprise; Obama was from the beginning a candidate that inspired a lot of peace-themed T-shirts.

And so we congratulate the President today on bringing American leadership to recognition on the world stage, and award him a Fantasy T-Wearer Award with the Obama Peace Sign T-shirt, seen above at right.

The battle over the Mojave Memorial Cross saw the inside of the Supreme Court this week, as the Justices began to ponder the Constitutionality of a cross residing on public lands.

Congress at one point tried to transfer the land around the cross to veteran’s groups in order to eliminate and Establishment Clause violations, but that attempt was blocked.  At this point it seems that the Supreme Court mayrule on the transfer of the lands to a private group rather than the Constitutionality of the cross itself, rather than setting a precedent that might affect other such lands (Arlington National Cemetery being the most obvious).

Justice Anthony Scalia was particularly fired up, noting, “I don’t think you can leap from that to the conclusion that the only war dead that that cross honors are the Christian war dead. I think that’s an outrageous conclusion.”

The folks at Liberty Legal who started the donttearmedown.com site (and shop) were encouraged by a Barna poll, which concludes that 92% of Americans feel the cross should stay.

It is worth noting that the cross, which is indeed a Christian symbol, is actually an ancient symbol used by many people and religions.  Justice Scalia pointed out that the cross is meant to honor all war dead – not just the Christian ones.  But, as ACLU counsel Peter Eliasberg pointed out, “I have been in Jewish cemeteries. There is never a cross on a tombstone of a Jew.”

The ruling for case 08-472 isn’t expected until early next year.  In the meantime, the cross stays (boarded up).

The bar code turns 57 today – which isn’t the big 6-0 or anything, but it did give Google a groovy way to cause a big to-do about this now-momentous occasion.

So happy birthday, bar code.  And well done, Doodler.

We’ve known about the bar code’s popularity for some time now; a search for “barcode” reveals 150,000 products, which is three times the amount of bacon products.  It would seem that the bar code has a uniquely universal appeal, inspiring everyone from plumbers to porn stars to gay folks and conspiracy theorists.  Heck, even the dog is a fan of the bar code.

So yes, you heard it here first: the bar code is more popular than bacon.  (The dog would like to remind you, though, that the canine population has a differing opinion.)

To that end, we’ve chosen a few interesting bar code designs to share with y’all…