An open letter from Todd P.

Toddp
I had a chance to catch up with Todd P. last week, after he gave me a ring to address the various comments surrounding his dating preferences with CafePress LoveMatch. I’d like to remind everyone that the To-A-T™ CafePress LoveMatch™ algorithm is still in BETA, and given its unique nature does indeed come up with some matches you might not make on your own.

And let’s all remember that, like CafePress itself, CafePress LoveMatch™ is meant to be an opportunity for absolutely everyone to make a personal connection.

This is long-tail dating, people. Should we be any more hasty to judge Todd P. than we are to judge the person who made the “My squirrel is my best friend” T-shirt?

In any case, Todd P. wanted me to relate this to his detractors:

I am Todd P and I’m done with my 15 minutes of
fame.

Little did I know when I signed up for a beta dating
program that I would be featured so prominently on the premiere marketing
materials. I suppose I should have read the fine print – who knew?

I should have also been suspicious when they asked for
quotes relating to my relationship with both Lib (I call her Lib) and Fernando.
Now neither has returned my calls for the past few days.

When I was a small boy I dreamed of being famous, but then the
other day I was in the bookstore minding my own business, and a random lady started
yelling at me for dating two people at once, then threw a copy of “You Know He’s a Two-Timing Egomaniacal, Womanizing Slimeball When . . .” at me. When I tried to explain that, technically, I was only dating one woman and couldn’t really be called a womanizer, things went from bad to worse and she tried to shepherd me to the “Self-Help” section while quoting Doctor Phil and I had to call security over to save me. This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.

Anyhow – just thought I’d drop a line and ask people to be a little more understanding. I think it’s time for me to get back to try meeting girls the old-fashioned way (i.e. in a bar with alcohol as my wingman) and see if I can once again fade into the background.

Sincerely,

Todd P.

In honor of Todd P’s disgrace, we shall take a moment for some Monday haiku:

People are people
So judge not, lest ye be judged
Happy April, all

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