Oct 26th, 2008
Road Rage to the White House
Our political bumper sticker collection has exploded this year – some are fun, some are serious, some are just hilarious, and some might run you the risk of having it forcibly removed or otherwise molested if you park in Berkeley, CA or on Wasilla Main Street.
And so today we bring you, in no particular order, the 10 stickers most likely to risk being defaced in these 2 towns. (Though admittedly, Berkeley residents are more likely to wait by your car to have a cruelty-free and well-meaning chat with you about your political views, then segue into a discussion of peak oil. But you get the picture.)
5 most potentially unpopular stickers on Telegraph in Berkeley, CA
A gun, a McCain endorsement *and a Clint Eastwood reference insulting Liberals. You’ve hit the trifecta! Beware: you may be assaulted with a long-winded opinion on gun control. Run away, run away!
Some communism symbols and a dash of Marx plus an insult to someone’s intelligence is a recipe for a Berkeley-style smackdown, bub. And by smackdown we mean a pamphlet on tolerance and a researched treatise on Obama’s lifetime church affiliations and their significance.
Extra bonus points for implying terrorism and a Middle Eastern policy worry simultaneously. Watch out, though: some pesky overly-literal Berkeley student might point out that while this sticker is actually true, it’s also true that Barack Obama is also the most popular candidate in the rest of the world, too. So have your retort ready.
In the land of Political Correctness, this sticker is a timeless classic that will earn you lectures long after the 2008 election is over. Those lectures will be in English, incidentally – after all, the people you’re insulting can’t read your sticker. And therein lies the secret beauty.
A notable punctuation error and an outrageous comparison will offend grammarians and Liberals alike – and this is after all a University town. Spelling and punctuation count.
On the other hand, this sticker may be saved if those viewing it think you’re being ironic/satirical in that hipster kind of way, and you might get an I-use-crystal-deodorant-and-it-works (no it doesn’t) enthusiastic if fragrant pat on the back rather than a VW Bug key to the driver’s-side door.
And that brings us to…
5 most potentially unpopular stickers on Wasilla Main Street
A crass anatomical reference and a Bush comparison are sure to get the Moose-hunters out in arms – and they’re actually armed, so beware.
In addition to announcing your anti-Republican sentiments, this is hunting country. Braking for animals is for sissies. And Wasilla Main street doesn’t cotton to sissies.
Now it looks like you’re just trying to annoy people. The smugness of this sticker is sure to irritate more than a few Wasilla Main Street denizens, and will likely remind them uncomfortably of Obama’s suggested elitism. Wasilla is a working class town, and its people like honest to goodness folks like that nice Joe the Plumber, not some smug liberal counting unhatched (and unwanted) chickens.
Putting aside the fact that this announces an “alternative lifestyle” to the world and you’re brazenly trumpeting your crusade for rights, now you’ve gone and brought that nice, God-fearing Mrs. Campbell and her ex-husband into it. That’s just rude.
Sarah Palin has, here and there, mentioned that Alaska is separated by a narrow maritime border with Russia. And now your sticker is somehow mocking the narrowness of that border and its significance. You also get extra bonus points for referencing Tina Fey’s Palin send-up, and that’s hitting a sore spot.
On the other hand, some Wasilla residents may find this sticker close enough to the truth to be a pro-Palin sticker. If you’re actually Tina Fey, though, you probably can’t pull that one off – better get the extra rental car insurance.
Remember, bumper sticker activism is an American tradition in demonstrating our First-Amendment right to free expression. So get on out there and make your voice heard. Just remember, drive safely. And consider parking on a side street.