Congress was again visited by the Big 3 CEO’s this week. (i.e. the Rocket Scientist and the Basketball player – Chrysler CEO Robert Nardelli doesn’t have a resume that lends itself to a distinguishing moniker, though his $210 million dollar sayonara package he received for being shooed out of Home Depot could possibly earn him the nickname The Platinum Parachuter.)
The Marine joined them (United Autoworkers President United Ron Gettelfinger), completing the lineup of the Frant(ast)ic Four.
It’s worth noting that the discomfited CEO’s ditched the private jets for this trip, opting instead to drive hybrid vehicles the 500 miles to Detroit. The move was a bold one given that Ford and GM are selling their corporate jets, thus enabling Nardelli to pick up Wagoner and Mullaly in the Chrylser jet so they could get in the jet carpool lane for the journey. But no, the jetpool was set aside this time around as these road warriors took to the actual road.
It would seem that using barely over a tank of gas for that leg of the trip created bright, spiral-shaped and energy-efficient lightbulbs above their heads, as the CEO’s admitted mistakes to Congress and vowed to focus on making smaller, hybrid and fuel-efficient vehicles. Hmm… why didn’t anyone else think of that?
While the Big 3 are now asking for more money – $34 billion dollars, up $9 billion from the last request – what they’re not asking for is a “bailout.”
What they are asking for: a “bridge loan.”
OK, so it’s not that catchy. Tomato, tomato… yes, admittedly that’s better.
Main Entry: bail·out
: a rescue from financial distress
Whatever you want to call it, the Big 3 CEO’s win a Fantasy T-Wearer Award this week, wearing the Jets for Sale t-shirt above. And they get an extra-special bonus Fantasy Bumper Sticker Award as well – may they all put any sticker pictured above on the hybrid of their choice. (Chrysler, you can put them on your jet too.)