Pulling an awe-inspiring (and all-spiraling) Double McTwist 1260 out of his gym bag of tricks (imagine being in commercial dryer with an ironing board duct-taped to your slippers), the red-coiffured wonder leapt into the history books with his second-consecutive Olympic gold medal.
Of course, Shaun does have his own private halfpipe to practice on – a $1 million beauty built in Colorado by his corporate sponsor Red Bull. If I had one of those in my backyard, I might not have to spend my entire day snowboarding down runs with names like “Bunny Patch,” “Pooh Bear” and the death-defying “Toddler’s Alley.”
See you on the slopes, Red. I’m gaining speed. Soon I’ll be able to pull this one off (does Bunny Patch have a half-pipe?):